Is Change Really Possible?

I face an interesting path before me. One that I can honestly say I've never traveled down before and have looked forward to for some time. When I ask myself the question 'can we change the world to make it a better place?' I am often stuck with an ensuing question, 'can I change myself for the better?'. The path that lies before me is an opportunity to do just that. It is, however, just an opportunity and nothing more. It will be up to me to put forth the effort to step outside of my comfort zone. I have two vices of which I will not disclose now but are, in essence, the greatest challenges I face if I want achieve the qualities I have set forth for myself. These vices bring out the worst in me. Anxiety, anger, depression, you name it. It is by definition an addiction and one I've had for many years. The strength to overcome will not be merely altering my behavior but to trust and have faith that it is for the better. Sure it makes sense for someone outside of the body looking in to say 'that's easy' but as we all know it is quite different when it's just you from within. It is my hope that everything will fall into place and things that I yearn for, be it love, security, growth, will come to fruition.

So far, I have experienced the growth part because I never stopped believing in myself. Others have given up and I've experienced how (for lack of a better term) superficial people can be. I've always maintained honesty and ironically it causes people to think I'm being dishonest, go figure.

By nature I'm a very competitive person. I'm not ambitious as to be better than someone else but simply to better myself. That's where a lot of my confidence comes from because I know that if I push hard enough I can be whatever I set my mind to and I've proven that. I think this can be true of anyone. It is natural for people to question and even doubt you and who you are. Part of the excitement in life is that people will love AND hate you simultaneously and it's up to you to succeed or fail. Just know that no matter which you accomplish it is an ongoing process. We often feel that one moment defines who we are and I do not believe that. There is a saying that stuck with me for years, "It's not how good you are, it's how good for how long."

This upcoming chapter will be the biggest leap of spirituality for me on many levels. As always, the time is now and the moment is before me.

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."